If you’ve spent more than five minutes at an online poker table, you’ve met them. The calling station nits — poker’s most maddening species. They’re not bold, not smart, and definitely not fun. Yet they cling to chips like they were oxygen.
1. They Don’t Play to Win, They Play to Not Lose
Calling stations don’t raise, don’t fold, and rarely bluff. They just call. Every. Single. Time. It’s not poker. It’s a bad version of blackjack where the dealer shrugs on every hand.
2. They Kill the Flow of the Game
Waiting for one of these guys to fold is like watching paint dry in Siberia. You raise, they tank for 10 seconds… and call. No aggression, no decision-making — just delay and decay.
3. You Can’t Bluff Them
Trying to run a bluff on a calling station is like shouting into a tornado. They don’t think. They don’t analyze. They just call, even when the board screams danger. Your brilliant triple-barrel? Wasted.
4. They Suck the Life Out of the Table
Poker is supposed to be dynamic. Strategic. Tense. With a calling station nit at the table, you get the same dull script every hand. It’s like poker in grayscale.
5. When They Win, It’s Pure Luck
They’ll call down with second pair on a wet board, hit a backdoor flush, and act like they outplayed you. Newsflash: you didn’t play well, you ran well.
6. They’re the Roaches of Online Poker
No matter what stakes, no matter what platform — they’re always there. Grinding the freerolls, clogging the micros, tanking in 50¢ games like the fate of the world depends on it.
Conclusion
Calling station nits aren’t tough opponents — they’re just irritating. They don’t play real poker, they play scared poker. And while they might scrape together a tiny profit with sheer stubbornness, they rob the game of everything that makes it beautiful: risk, skill, and rhythm.
So next time you see one? Smile. Play tight. Value bet big. And pray they don’t river you again with garbage.
Glossary:
- Calling Station: A player who rarely folds, calling bets with weak or marginal hands.
- Nit: A player who plays extremely tight, only betting with premium hands.
- Triple-Barrel Bluff: A bluff carried out on the flop, turn, and river.